Aya Maguire
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Oh My Heart

Written July 2015

Oh my heart is a rolling stone
A rock on the path of descent

Oh my heart is the altar flame
The host of sin and repent

Oh to be a lover's soul
What is trust and growth and green

But now my love is a memory still
A mirage in the glass in a dream.

But oh, my heart, how she dream.

 
 
 

Two to Fold

Written November 2016

Raise the flag the war is done
Two to fold and two to run
West to where the plains do bend
West to make the mind ascend
West to burn the sands of time
Two to fold and two to climb

Will you keep my secrets warm?
The winter's bright I have bene warned
But in the light I'll follow through:
You be me and I'll be you
Two for me and two for you

Raise the flag and tell me so
Two to fold and two to go
West on wind and vertigo
West from seasons long ago
West to make the sky a home
Two to run and two to fold
Two to keep and two to hold
Two to play and two
To Fold

 
 
 

The Start

Written March 2016

Maybe it'll never be the same again,
If you can't break time to pretend
No no, a break I cannot mend
Breathing in the interval between us
A distance I could touch
No no, before I broke your trust.

I am falling I am falling on back to the start
In my confident incompetence at knowing my own heart
You could offer me state of mind and I'd cut it down to size
No no, to fit my alibis

I could tell the story in black and white
To make it seem my way
No no, to make you let me stay
But I can feel you hesitate to weigh and see
The love that we forego
No no no, no no

I am falling I am falling on back to the start
In my confident incompetence at knowing my own heart
You could offer me state of mind and I'd cut it down to size
No no, to fit my alibis

One step forward, one step back,
My mind's already set
You say we can't reverse our lives
But that's not my intent, no.

Maybe it'll never be the same again
The way that it was before
No no, but maybe it could be more.
Breathing in the interval between us
I won't let the distance grow, no.

 
 
 

Water Rise

Written October 2012

I can feel the water rise higher than my waist
So I try to hide my eyes, smile on my face

What would they think? I can't let them know
How the water's rising upwards. I can't let it show.

Sometimes I cry but you are never the cause
Just hold me tightly, stay nightly and I'll be alright

Still I can hear the wind blow. I can feel it.
I can see the water rise, I can feel it.

I know you want to help me. You want to throw me a line.
But you can't feel the rising water of the river in my mind.

Hold tight tonight for my dreams are haunting me
But if you hold me so boldly then I'll be alright

Still I can hear the wind blow. I can feel it.
I can see the water rise. I can feel it.

 
 
 

Wishing Well

Written January 2015

Lead me down to the water,
Build a raft for me
Of all my reckless longing;
Set me out to see

I'm unbroken, but empty,
Selling your diamond to bleed.
I am searching for something
To set my aching free.

So write me sonnets on starlight,
Promise me everything.
Bring your last confession,
But not the wedding ring.

Lovers burning on twilight,
Gone where I daren't breathe.
Ashes and the altar
Are now just memory.

If I could ask my erratic heart
To be the wishing well
Down which my yearning fell
You know I'd bring you here,
You know I'd bring you near to me.

But there is nothing left
And the well is dry.
I am all alone, just my wanting and I.
Beside the salt and sea
There is no where we can go

 
 

Colors

Written December 2017

Keep all your colors dry
But leave the shore for me
Honey, our past was water deep
Now I'm drowning to see

How we glittered like
Diamonds on the run
I've traded that moonlit life
For a chance to know the sun

And in the thick of night when the sun has laid to rest
I'll touch the skin of memory and finally undress
How your love was like a secret kept
Real but imprisoned your colors in prisms
White light only could you accept

Keep all your colors dry
Don't ever let me see.
I know you feel it still
That signal shines for me

How you glitter like
A diamond in the sun
Honey, I'll turn away
If you let your colors run.

And in the thick of night when the sun has laid to rest
I'll touch the skin of memory and finally undress
How your love was like a secret kept
Real but imprisoned your colors in prisms
White light only could you accept

How you glitter like
A diamond in the sun
Honey, I'll turn away
So let your colors run.

 
 
 

(There's No Such Thing as a) Portland Thunderstorm

Written October 2011

I can feel the distance like the
passing time that moves so slowly
far away to where it's raining
I can see you hear you saying

I am blessed, be my lady
Thunder rolling, fading, fading
Silently, but not so subtle
As the lighting cause me trouble

I can feel the distance like the
though of leaving your perfection
Will you never love another?
The rain keeps on but not the thunder

And I can feel the distance growing
wanting to, but never knowing:
Where are you? And do you miss me?
Does the rain fall, or are you free?

I can feel the distance (growing)
I can feel the distance (growing)
What can come of love once broken?
Don't forget the words I've spoken

I am blessed, be my lover
For I'll never love another
This was not as I intended
So my love, let us be mended

But I can feel the distance growing
wanting to, but never knowing:
Where are you? And do you miss me?
Does the rain fall, or are you free?

Drip, drop, drip, drop rain, like irony.
Drip, drop, drip, drop falling on me
You are not as remember
Let the rain welcome my November

Oh I can feel the distance growing
wanting to, but never knowing:
Where are you? And do you miss me?
Does the rain fall, or are you free?
I can feel the distance growing
wanting to, but never knowing you.

 
 
 

Child's Play

Written November 2014

Don't you say it, no.
Don't you tell me now.
I know all the little things
You could say to make me think
After what you put me through
I could ever mean to you
What you do to me

I never meant to fall in love with you.
I never meant to let go.
And I'm too clever to believe
When you look at me you see
Anything but child's play
I know I should stay away
Don't you look at me that way
Don't you.

You try to assure me,
You tell me I am wrong.
But when you say you love me
I know soon I'll be alone.

 
 
 

Foundations

Written June 2017

I flee my foundation when I see you founder
And reach out my hand to you
Take it I’m begging for if my touch is saving
Then your touch could save me too

Tell me, honey, are the stars gone, when the morning breaks
Or are we constrained by what we can perceive?
Tell me honey are we gone, when the body breaks?
I don’t know but this I can’t believe

How can we mourn him, he who has found her
This peace beyond our reach?
A firmer foundation, a brighter constellation
Somewhere we cannot see

Tell me honey how will you breathe, when the story breaks
And fear it rolls like water in the streets?
Tell me honey how will I breathe, when my refuge breaks?
I don’t know, but this I must believe:

You’ll flee your foundation when you see me founder
And pull me out of the blue
To obviate my praying, for if your touch is saving,
Then my touch could save you too

 
 
 

Internecine Child

Written October 2017

Smoke signals rise, I am fighting for my life
Keep the peace with me, babe, I've got nothing left but time.
And I have kept a vigil for the dream of being wise
A requiem for reason was born when we aligned

I kept to my lines almost every single time
And I have lost a thousand wars, all in my mind
I know my rights but nature is unkind;
Surely if I search you I'll stumble on a sign

So don’t play the fool with me

I know in time you will see it from my eyes
A bitter tack is nature’s track, a wheel I will unwind
I never saw you coming, smoke signals in the sky
But now that you’re here, I'll fight to make you mine

Fight me in rapture, Internecine Child
I have waited to welcome the world to your smile
Fight me to make all your troubles feel true,
But I've waited to honor you
I've waited to honor you

 
 
 

How You Breathe

Written March 2015

I watch the night fall but can't fall asleep
You tell me I'm not wrong for wanting to weep
There's nothing to say, but you say nothing so loudly
There's nothing to do but to hold on to you

And how you breathe like nothing's the matter
And how you speak, how you see, how you breathe
And how you know

That I can't be satisfied though now we're apart
You keep all your clothes on but give me your heart
And I'll linger here in the warmth of knowing I had you
There's nowhere to go but inside of all we know

And how you sing the distance into laughter
And how you speak, how you see, how you breathe
And how you know

 
 
 

The Sandcastle King

Written December 2016

All of my kingdom is sand
The castles all fell in the end
And just as the tide sweeps to sea,
So went my fortunes and decrees.
Please burn the rest down for me.

All of my titles are glass
Each a disguise of my past
The transparence when I was king
Warps now the people I have been.
Please burn the rest down for me.

All that I have left
The places I no longer dare to call my home
Left inside me someone I do not know
A seed, a trace, an outline
And directionless instruction to grow.

All of my kingdom is sand
The castles all fell in the end
And just as the tide sweeps to sea,
So went my burdens and decrees.
Please burn the rest down for me.

 
 
 

Fireflies

Written March 2011

I fell asleep at your bedside,
I had a dream behind your eyes,
I saw you

Held you like the candlelight
I’d cherished through the long dark night
I loved you

Throw it all away.
Why should I throw it all away?

There we were like fireflies,
Lighting up I saw your eyes
I knew you

Love me like I never stray,
I’m incomplete and I’m afraid, but
I love you

Throw it all away.
Why should I throw it all away?

There we were like fireflies,
Lighting up I saw your eyes
I love you

I do,
I love you

 
 

The Space Between

Written August 2016

Oh the glory and the lie
Of how we're all alone inside our minds.

Can I find a way to breach
The walls that stand between the world and me?

Oh the glory and the grief
Of the distance that gives us our sweet relief.

Can I close the space between
The light and I and still be me?

 
 

Amatoribus

Written June 2016

This song was written in remembrance of the victims of the 2016 Orlando Shooting.

The latin words translate to, "Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our deaths." When the chorus is sung the final time, "Peccatoribus," or sinners, is replaced with the word "Amatoribus," meaning lovers, or "we who are loving." The bridge prayer simply asks, "God be with us; God be with you."

Rain falls on my window pane
My darling flame
My heart

Keep me safe through summer's birth
My holy mirth
My heart

Ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae

Golden light and the petrichor
Lover that I adore
My heart

Safe behind my wall of glass
My outward mask
My heart

Ora pro nobis peccatoribus
Nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae

Dominus nobiscum
Dominus vobiscum

Ora pro nobis amatoribus
Nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae

 
 

Your Word

Written March 2016

I built my home inside of your word.
All I need to hear is your voice.

Take all my longing,
All my hope back to dust
Give me a sign that you're still listening
All I need to hear is your word.

I built my home inside of your word.
All I need to hear is your voice.

And I cried rivers to drown in,
Rivers to take me back to you
All I know is I still love you,
And I want to come back home.